Three daughters

There were three daughters who wanted to know how they got they’re names. So the first daughter asks her father, “Daddy

Retarded boy

once upon a time their was a boy named jason.Everyone called him retarded because he acted retarted.They went to the zoo and the first thing they went to go see was the sharks.One boy said” what is that with the sharp teeth”"

Gassy Granny

There once was an old lady she went to the doctor and told the doctor, ” I have a farting problem

What happened to Bill

Joe and Bill are working in a sawmill when Bill accidentally saws his arm off. Joe takes the arm, puts it in a plastic bag, and takes Joe to hospital. The next day, Joe finds Bill in rehab playing tennis. Wow, the wonders of modern science,”Joe says. They go back to the sawmill and are sawing away when this time clumsy Bill cuts his leg. Joe takes the leg

Big Yella Mama

One day a boy’s mom wanted to walk him to the bus stop. This boy’s mom was really fat. He said,”Momma

Bus driver

Once there was a nun that rode the bus every night precisely at 8:30pm. she rode the same bus with the same bus driver.And every night she would get off the bus at the same place. Well, one night there was this guy who got on the bus. He noticed this nun sitting there.He started thinking to himself,”man that nun is really hot!”" And every night for a week he rode the same bus at the same time and he would see this nun.After a week he was really horny because of this nun. So one night after the nun got off the bus he went up to the bus driver. “”man that nun is hot. I would love to get a piece of ass from her

Voodoo Penis

A man was going to go on vacation,and in order to make sure that his wife didn’t have sex with anybody else, he went to buy her a present. He walked into a small store on the corner, and told the owner his situation.
The owner felt that he had a solution, and pulled out a small box. Inside the box was a dildo.The man said” So what

2 boys & a cathlic school!

There were two little mistief boys who were always in trouble in school. One day they took it too far and got thrown out of that school and into a cathlic school, they were constantly in trouble there too. Until oneday, they were called up to the head nun’s office and given a lecture. One of them got let home while the other was kept in school. The head nun asked the boy, “where is God?”" The boy replied

Little Johnny’s Breakfast

Little Johnny wakes up and comes down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores.

“Not yet

Nail,Screw, and Bolt

A woodshop teacher asks the only girl in the class what the difference is between a nail, a screw, and a bolt on the first day of school and she says “Well

Yo momma

Yo mommas so ugly, her face is rated “R”"
Yo mommas so fat

Wrong choice!

A woman sudenly woke up at 2 in the morning, with her husbend in the kithen. Woman:”Morning love

A blonde comes home

A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum,”We lernt how to count up to 5 today mummy

A woman walks into a bar…

A woman walks into a bar already wasted. She goes up to the bar and says,”Beer tender

Cant hear

There is this guy that walks into a bar, and sees a genie, who grants him a wish.
The guy asked for “million bucks”" and all of a sudden

Student comes home from college

Student comes home from first semester of college and his father asks him how he likes school.

Student says ” I don’t know

There was a red head, a burnet, and a blonde….

There was a red head, a burnet, and a blonde.They ecscaped out of a german prison.The germans were chasing them so they desided to hide.The red head hid under the sheets, The burnet hid in a trash bag, and the blode hid in a potato sack.The germans poked the sheets and the red head said”MEOW”" and the germans said”"its only a cat”".They poked the trash bag and the burnet said”"WOOF”" and the germans said”"its only a dog”".They poked the potato sack and the blonde said”"potato

The blonde in the library

A Blonde goes into a library. She goes up to the librarian and says, “I want a manicure and a pedicure.”" Then

Listen before you speak

3 backpackers, an Englishman,a Welshman and an Irishman walked into a bar in Sydney.The trio walk up to bar,the bartender leans over.He says “I DON’T WANT ANY FIGHTS!If you start any

Fish Mistake!!!

One day, a blonde got some new fish. But there was a problem. She didn’t know how to feed the fish. So the blonde decided to ask her brunette friend. Then after they were done feeding the fish, she then asked, ” Now

Blind, Blond, & Gutsy

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, “Hey

The Test

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go
to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, “I brought ten
apples.”" The king then explained the trial to him. “”You have to
shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your
face or you’ll be eaten.”"

The first apple went in… but on the second one he winced out
in pain

Uncle Ted’s Special Skill

Uncle Ted’s Special Skill
Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn’t find
his ball once he’d hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended
that Joe bring along her uncle Ted. Joe said, “But Ted is 80 years old and
half senile!”" His wife replied

Good news and bad news in Baghdad

Saddam Hussein’s 7 doubles were hastily rounded up at an undisclosed site in Baghdad and informed, “Gentlemen


One time a blonde walked into a rent-to-own store and asked to buy a T.V., the salesman said, “Sorry