Archive for the ‘sports figures’ Category

Dave Barry’s version of the ’96 Olympics

Article by Dave Barry on Olympic Coverage TRUMPETS: BOM! BOM! BOM-BOM BOM BOM BOM! BOB COSTAS: Good evening, and as you can tell by the sound of the Olympic Theme Song that we play almost as much as we show Kerri Strug’s historic vault, it’s time for our broadcast of The Recently Videotaped Olympic Games [...]

Ugliest man in the world

One day, Hercules, Snow White and the Quasimoto (Hunchback of Notre Dame) were standing around talking. Hercules spoke up and said, “I bet I am the strongest man in the world.” Snow White then looked around and said, “Well I bet that I am the most beautiful person in the world.” Then Quasimoto looks around [...]

Baseball Player

Why Did the Baseball player bring rope to the game? He wanted to tie the score.

Stupid camps

1. Quiditch camp (no children cannot fly) 2. Sailor camp ( no they will not end up on broadway) 3. Star Wars camp ( no it is not possible to become Chubbaca) 4. Star Trek Camp (Mr. Bernard is there)

Jock Jems

Basketball player Chris Washburn, on his ability to drive to the basket, “Yeah, I can go to my right and my left. That’s because I’m amphibious. “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann (1996) “You guys line up alphabetically [...]

y guy cheerleaders are not gay!!!

many guyz will not become a cheerleader for fear that they will be called gay. this i dont under stand beacause there are many things that would not make them look gay. i am going to list some of the reasons that cheerleading guyz should not be considered gay. 1.your surrounded by 15-25 girls everyday. [...]

Timbuck Too

One day an Aggie and a Longhorn (football teams) were applying for the same job, the manager said, ok, you both go home and make up a poem using the words “Timbuck Too” the next day they both came back, the longhorn read first. “Over the hills, I do see too, my eyes stuck like [...]

Leafs vs. Habs

One cold winter day a couple of kids were playing hockey on Lake Ontario and a vicious dog ran up and started biting one of the kids’ legs. Thinking fast the other kids took his hockey stick and started beating the dog until it was dead. A news reporter for the Toronto Sun was walking [...]

This Is For The Bills

Four football fanactics decided to go rock climbing one day. One was a Dallas Cowboys fan. One was a Denver Broncos fan. One was a Miami Dolphins fan. And the other was a Buffalo Bills fan. They all thought they were the biggest fans and they wanted to prove it. The four men started their [...]

Beckham’s Puzzle

Alex Ferguson is at Old Trafford with the whole of the Manchester United Football Team watching them train, when he realizes that golden boy David Beckham is absent. He takes out his mobile phone and calls the Beckhams at home. David – “Hello”. Alex – “David, where the hell are you? Training started 10 minutes [...]

Tyson

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? They invented mace!

Yogi-isms (By Yogi Berra, Baseball Player)

1. I die rarely. 2. It’s a deja vu all over again. 3. It’s not over till it’s over. 4. If you come to a fork in the road…..take it! 5. I really didn’t say everything that I said. 6. You can observe a lot just by watching. 7. Never reply to an anonymous letter. [...]