Archive for the ‘sports’ Category

Golf Genie

Golf Genie A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice – her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, [...]

It Is Football. No it’s Not!

An amish and an american were at the amish’s home and watched two tumbleweeds roll around the dirt field. The amish yelled,”Yay field goal!”” He though it was a football game. “”Oh please

Discouraged?

As I was driving home from work one day, I stopped to watch a local little league baseball game that was being played in a park near my home. As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was. “We’re behind 14 to nothing,” [...]

Gorilla Golfer

There were two men who played golf together frequently. One was several strokes better than the other. The lesser player was very proud, and never wanted to take any strokes to even up the game. One Saturday morning, he shows up with a gorilla at the first tee. He says to his friend, “I’ve been [...]

Tic fan

Q: Why did the Tic fan cross the road? A: Cos Sutton was on shooting practice.

Picked for the school team

“Dad, dad!” cried Philip, as he arrived home one evening. “I think I’ve been selected for the school football team.” “That’s good,” said his father. “But why do you only think you’ve been selected? Aren’t you sure? What position are you playing?” “Well,” replied Philip, “it’s not been announced officially, but I overheard the football [...]

Principles of good sportsmanship

“Look, Bobby,” the coach said, “you know the principles of good sportsmanship. You know the Little League doesn’t allow temper tantrums, shouting at the umpire, or abusive language.” “Yes, sir, I understand.” “Good, Bobby. Now. would you please explain that to your mother.”

Packer Fans

How many Packers fans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three–one to screw in the new one and two to talk about how great the old one was.

Another Anthrax Scare

CORVALLIS, OREGON: Oregon State football practice was delayed yesterday for two hours. One of the players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious-looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head Coach Dennis Erickson immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. [...]

Dallas Cowboys

Q:What do you say to a Dallas Cowboy in a suit? A:And how does the defendent wish to plead? Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas? A: A huddle Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who’s driving? A: The police Q: Why can’t Michael Irvin get in a huddle on the [...]

Basketball on the roof

There were 3 basketball players, one each from IU, Notre Dame, and Purdue, standing on a burning roof in Indianapolis The fire department came with a blanket and yelled to the Norte Dame player to jump.He jumped and they moved it to the right. He hit the sidewalk with a splat. They then called to [...]

The laws of golf

LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.

Dinner

Anaheim Mighty Duck super star, Teemu Selanne, had never had his father see him play professional hockey. He was thrilled to have his father visit him recently to watch him play. In honor of the occasion, his good friend, Mikkail Shtalenkov, arranged a special banquet at the renowned local Scandinavian restaurant, Gustav Anders, where noted [...]

Famous Sports Quotes.

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: “I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.” New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: “I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever [...]

Its Time to Learn Bridge

A lady was applying for a position as a housekeeper and when asked why she left her last employment, she replied, “Yes, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked. They played a game called “Bridge” and last night there were a lot of folks there. As I was [...]

Miranda Rights

How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? Studying their Miranda Rights.

American Golfer

I can go golfing today , cauz my car wont budge What kinda car do ya hav CADDY-LACK

Sellik fan

Q: How do you keep a Sellik fan busy? A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.

12 and 5 season

The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year, 12 arrests, 5 convictions.

Tyson Excuses!

The top 10 reasons for Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield’s ear: 10. Got a little carried away after seeing “Face/Off” 9. Really wanted to win first prize on “America’s Funniest Home Videos” 8. Like this doesn’t happen every year in the Masters 7. Whenever Moe bites Curly’s ear, it’s hilarious! 6. Has to do this [...]

Young Football Fan

Two boys are playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a crazed dog. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board from a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar and twists, shutting off the dog’s breathing. A reporter who is strolling by sees the incident and rushes over [...]

That close

Football Practice cornerback:man i was that close from making that interception Fat teammate: thats cause ur just that slow

Bengals

Do you know why the Cincinnati Bengals were the last NFL team to get a website? Because they couldnt put three W’s in a row.

The Dickens

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome Teed Off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell [...]

Blonde Golfers

Two blondes were playing golf at a foggy par three, and could see the flag, but not the green. Each hit their ball anyway. When they walked to the green, they discovered one about three feet from the cup, while the other somehow had gone directly in. They tried to figure out which ball belonged [...]