Archive for the ‘signs of our times’ Category

In the vestry of a

In the vestry of a New England church: “Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.”In a Pennsylvania cemetery: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”On a roller coaster: “Watch your head.”On the grounds of a public school: “No trespassing without permission.”On a Tennessee [...]

Notice in a dry cleaner’s

Notice in a dry cleaner’s window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF. Sign on motorway garage: PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS. YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS.Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS Notice in a [...]

At a number of military bases:…

At a number of military bases: “Restricted to unauthorized personnel.”

Outside a Church:…

Outside a Church: Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside!

Want ad:…

Want ad: “Three year old teacher needed for preschool. Experience preferred.”

In a Japanese hotel:…

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

On the bottom of a bottle of chocolate milk:…

On the bottom of a bottle of chocolate milk: Do not turn over.

Classified Ad:…

Classified Ad: Georgia Peaches California Grown 89 Cents Lb.

On the wall of a Baltimore estate:…

On the wall of a Baltimore estate: “Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. – Sisters of Mercy”

A bumper sticker:…

A bumper sticker: Horn broken. Watch for finger.

While stopped at an intersection

While stopped at an intersection I noticed a man standing on the corner in front of a Burger King. He was holding a ign that read “Will work for food.” If he had only looked up, he would have noticed that the Burger King sign directly a bove him read “Now hiring.”At an office: “This [...]

In a clothing store:…

In a clothing store: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”

In an ad for a swimwear store:…

In an ad for a swimwear store: “Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops!”

In a Tacoma, Washington men’s

In a Tacoma, Washington men’s clothing store: “15 men’s wool suits, $10. They won’t last an hour!”On a shopping mall marquee: “Archery Tournament-Ears pierced”Outside a country shop: “We buy junk and sell antiques.”In the window of an Oregon store: “Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?”In a Maine restaurant: “Open 7 [...]

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:…

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

In front of a church:…

In front of a church: “Remember, Detroit is not the only place that the Maker can recall his product.”

In the window of an Oregon store:…

In the window of an Oregon store: “Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?”

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:…

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

Classified Ad:…

Classified Ad: Soft & Genital Bath Tissues Or Facial Tissue 89 Cents

Sign in a Rhodes tailor

Sign in a Rhodes tailor shop: “Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.”Sign from the Soviet Weekly: “There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.”Sign in an East African newspaper: “A new [...]

In a Rhodes tailor shop:…

In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

In a New York medical building:…

In a New York medical building: “Mental Health Prevention Center”

In restaurant: “Open seven days

In restaurant: “Open seven days a week and weekends.” On the freeway in Boston during a MAJOR transformation of the streets and bridges, etc: “Rome wasn’t built in a day. If it was we would have hired their contractor.” A sign in front of an advertising agency in south superhighway, Philippines: “A BUSINESS WITH NO [...]

In a Yugoslavian hotel:…

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a loan company window:…

In a loan company window: “Now you can borrow enough money to get completely out of debt.”