Archive for the ‘sex’ Category

Tee Hee Hee…….

There were 101 nuns in a convent, Mother Superior and 100 Sisters. One sunday, all of the nuns were kept in after praying. Mother Superior stood before them and announced that there had been a MAN in the convent last night. 99 Nuns went “Oh no!”” 1 Nun went “”Tee Hee Hee!”” Mother Superior then [...]

Eel Sex

Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about ‘courting’ from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, [...]

Christmas Morning

Early one Christmas morning, Suzy, a shapely young woman was sitting by the fireplace eagerly but patiently awaiting the arrival of old St.Nick. After a few hours and even a few more heavily laced bourbon egg-nogs she heard a noise on the roof and sure enough Santa was soon standing before her. “Have you been [...]

Bus driver

Once there was a nun that rode the bus every night precisely at 8:30pm. she rode the same bus with the same bus driver.And every night she would get off the bus at the same place. Well, one night there was this guy who got on the bus. He noticed this nun sitting there.He started [...]

Voodoo Penis

A man was going to go on vacation,and in order to make sure that his wife didn’t have sex with anybody else, he went to buy her a present. He walked into a small store on the corner, and told the owner his situation. The owner felt that he had a solution, and pulled out [...]

Two Dicks(originally three)

Two dicks were sitting together one day and talking. The first one says, “I like my master

Hisoku or Death?

There was this guy who was on a safari to Africa, and gets caught by a tribe. The leader asks him,”Do you want Hisoku or death?”” The guy opts for Hisoku thinking it’ll be better than death. The tribespeople strip him

Joe and Mother Nature

One day Joe decided to go enjoy the outdoors with a round of golf. He was doing great untill the last hole when he sliced one way left into a field of beautiful buttercups. Still upset about his lousy shot he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful the flowers were. He carefully walked through the [...]

Nude beach

Two parents take their 6 year old son to a nude beach. Upon arrival the parents tell their son to go play. After about 10 minutes of the sons playing, he returns to his mother and asks her why all the other women have a bigger rack then her. She simply replys that the bigger [...]

To many Questions

A little boy asked his mom if he could take a shower with her, she said “Sure just don’t look up and don’t look down.”” So they get in the shower and the boy looked up and said “”mom what are those?”” She said “”Those are my headlights.”” Then the boy looked down and asked [...]

King’s three guys

There is a king and he calls a american guy a italian guy and a chinese guy to come to his palace “my wife wants to have a blue baby”” he says. So the american guy goes in

Sex for $1.80

A man walked up to a hooker and asked if she could show him how to have sex, she asked how much will you pay me, and he said, “all i have is a $ 1.80″”. “”Alright then

Prostitutes love’s Mr. T.

One nite this prostitute, was walking down the street. In Reno Nevada. And then she decided too stop bye this Tatoo parlor. As she sat down the tatooist asked her what she would like and where on her body would she like it. Then she said I would like Head of Mike Tyson, and Buster [...]

Showers

One day this little boys mother was about to take a shower and the boy said “Mommy

Horny Madness

A guy is nearing the end of his senior year in high school. Unfortunately, he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is only 9 years old. One night he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun. They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little [...]

Sentences

A boy in a 2nd grade class was given an assignment by his teacher. The assignment read as follows. “Pick Four sentences that you hear along the way home and bring them to school tomorrow to recite”” The young boy decided that he will pick his sentences from people on the road. He walks down [...]

Drummer with a good joke

Hey i was hangin out a friends house the other day when he called up this girl on the phone and asked,”Hey baby!!….. If I was a squirrel

Orange dick

a guy goes to the doctor and says “doc i have the weirdest problem. my um penis has turned orange. “”ok may i take a look at the problem”” says the doctor the guy pulles down his pants and showes him. and sure enough his entire dick is bright orange. well says the doctor

Mr. Piggy Wiggy

one day a boy and his sister were about to go to bed when his sister says “can i sleep with you””

The Whales

One day there was a whale by the name of Kyle swimming all by it’s self, then another whale named Luke asked where his pod was, and Kyle said “all the fishermen killed them

I will give you hun hun hun hun hundred!!!!!!!!!!

A dull but beautiful seventeen year old girl has been catching the eye of her JSS2 teacher but every effort to woo this girl never caught the eye of this girl.According to the directives of the PTA and the school ADministration no student will be promoted to JSS3 unless the student passed in all subjects. [...]

3 Flys

Once there was these 3 flyz and they were out all day…well they got tired of flying so they seen a lady and thought “i got an idea”” one flew in her nose and one flew in her ear and one flew in her pussy. they spent the night. so the next morning they finally [...]

Wonder woman

SUPERMAN SAW WONDER WOMAN ON HER BED ONE DAY, NUDE, SPREAD -EAGLE,PLAYING WITH HERSELF. HE LOOKED IN HER BEDROOM WITH HIS X-RAY VISION. HE THOUGHT, “WHY I’LL BET I CAN FLY IN TO BEDROOM AND SCREW HER WITH MY SUPER-SPEED AND SHE WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT HAPPENED””. SO- HE FLYS INTO HER BEDROOM

Teh Sex Dictionary

Sex Dictionary Backed Up – Glandular condition that men get from not having sex. Bad Breaker Upper – Someone who ends a relationship by saying those mean things that people don’t mean, but means them. Home Bed Advantage – The confident feeling one gets while making love in one’s own surroundings. “It didn’t take”” – [...]

Busy Bull,s

A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 50 times last year.”” The wife turns to her husband and says