Archive for the ‘riddles’ Category

What do you call a gay dentist?…

What do you call a gay dentist? – A tooth fairy.

Who was bigger… Mrs. Bigger or her baby?…

Who was bigger… Mrs. Bigger or her baby? Her baby was a little Bigger!

Which to Marry?

A guy decides it’s time to get marry. He gives each of his current girlfriends $1,000. One spends $200 on clothes, puts $800 in the bank. Second spends $800 on clothes, puts $200 in the bank. Third puts the whole $1,000 in the bank. Q: Which one did he marry? A: The one with the [...]

What is old and wrinkled and hangs out your…

What is old and wrinkled and hangs out your shorts? – Your mother.

Easy to Get Into But Hard to Get Out

What’s the easiest thing to get into but hard to get out of?? Trouble.

A Hooker and a Bungee Jump

What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common? They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re dead.

Midget

What kind of car does a midget drive? A minivan.

Gross and Grosser

What’s gross? Two twins conjoined at the tongue. What’s grosser than that? One of them throws up.

What is “it”?

Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long oneMichael J. Fox has a short oneMadonna doesn’t have one andBill Clinton uses his a lot What is “it”?A last name!Now what were you thinking?

Quick Lincoln Riddle

Q: In what state was Abraham Lincoln born? A: Naked and screaming, like the rest of us.

Why did the chicken cross the road?…

Why did the chicken cross the road? – To escape an oppressive military regime.

What Is it?

You cannot see it, you cannot touch it, it isn’t a liquid, it isn’t a solid, it isn’t a gas, but it can be broken. What is it? Silence.

How do you curcumsize a whale?…

How do you curcumsize a whale? You use four skin divers.

Why is Santa always so jolly?…

Why is Santa always so jolly? He knows all the Hoe, Hoe, Hoes!

Cat and a Comma

What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of its paws, but a comma shows a pause at the end of a clause.

What’s the difference between a mathematician,…

What’s the difference between a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer? A mathematician assumes that a series is divergent until the opposite has been proven. A physicist assumes that a series is convergent until the opposite has been proven. An engineer assumes that a series is convergent even though the opposite has been proven.

Stupid Jokes

1. What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back to u? a. A stick. 2. Whats wrong with this: a b c d e f g h i j k m n o p q r s t u v w x y z a. noel 3. What did 1 magnet say to [...]

Six Scared of Seven

Why was six scared of seven Because seven eight nine.

The Escape

A man was locked inside a room with only a bed,calander, and a piano…How did he eat drink and get out of the room? He ate the dates off the calander, drank of the springs from the bed, and escaped from the keys of the piano.

Stoners

What do you call three hippies having a yard sale? Dealers!

Bugs

What was the last thing going through the fly’s mind when it hit the car windshield? It’s hind legs!

What does a gay frog sound like?…

What does a gay frog sound like?”RUBIT”What does a japenese artist sound like when he sneezes?”HI-CUE”WHY do bald people put holes in there pockets?So they can rub there fingers through their hair”

Metric Riddle

Q: “What kind of meters can kill you?” A: Kilomeaters!!!!

User Doesn’t See It

The maker doesn’t want it; The buyer doesn’t use it; And the user doesn’t see it. What is it? It’s…a coffin!

Question and answer time

Q. If seagulls are called seagulls because they fly over the sea, what are they called when they fly over the bay?A. bagels———————————————————————-Q. What did the zen-master say to the New York City hotdog vendor?A. Make me one with everything.———————————————————————-Q. What’s the name of the ninth reindeer?A. Olive as in ‘olive the other reindeer’.———————————————————————-Q. What [...]