Archive for the ‘politicians’ Category

osama binladen

Letter to Taliban; Surrender Osama Bin Laden or we we’ll send your women to college The United States

Miscommunication

A squad of American soldiers was patrolling along the Iraqi border. To their surprise, they found the badly mangled dead body of an Iraqi soldier in a ditch along the road. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, who [...]

The Three Midgets

Three midgets who really want to be in the Guiness Book of World Records decide that they can come up with “something” that would qualify them for submission into the book. They call up the judging panel and arrange an appointment. The first midget walks into the judging room and tells the panel, “I believe [...]

Asian Blonde

once upun a time…… A nice little blonde asian girl, becaome FAT! EMILY CHO

Anagram of President Clinton of the USA

An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA It can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each letter only once into: TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

President Bush and Taliban Leader

Bush went to Afganistan to discuss peace agreements. While he was in the Room The Taliban leader presses a button and a Fist comes out and puches him. He begans to laugh and Bush is annoyed. Then as the began talking he presses another button and a fist comes out and punches his balls. This [...]

Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill was a quite a character. Here, for your enjoyment, is a bit of a description of him: (1) Seeing how rude Churchill was to his wife (and everyone else), a lady once told him, “Winston, if I was your wife, I would poison your tea.” Churchill replied, “And madame, if I was your [...]

Horny redneck

What do you call a horny redneck who can’t tell the truth? Bill Clinton.

Bin Laden, NY gov., Bush and a Genie

One day Bush, Bin Laden, and the governor of NY were walking on the beach when they stumpled upon a genie’s lamp. They rubbed the lamp and out popped a genie. The genie said, “I have three wishes and since there are three of you I will give each of you a wish.” The governor [...]

Tragedy

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a “TRAGEDY”. One little boy stands up and offers, “If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a [...]

3 Boys Saved Bill Clinton’s Life

Three kids were walking down a dirt path in the forest. One of the kids sees Bill Clinton drowing. The three boys save Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton is so pleased that they saved his life he decided to give each one of them a request. The first boy said, “Chicks, lots of hot chicks.” The [...]

A Quickie

George W. Bush and Al Gore went to a fancy resturaunt. The waitress came and asked what they wanted. George said, “I want a quickie.” The witress slapped him and walked away. George then asked Al what he did wrong. Gore told him it that was pronounced “queshe.”

Clinton’s Last Hurrah

I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as our government underwent a peaceful transition of power. I was proud as Mr. Bush took his oath of office. I was sad as I watched Mr. Clinton board Air Force One for the final time. It may surprise you that this made me sad, [...]

The Clinton Administration

What are they calling the Clinton administration, now that he’s out of office? Sex between the Bushes!

The Bush Joke

What are you called if you are paid to kill president Bush. A Bush Wacker.

Survey About Bill Clinton

There was a survey filled out by every woman in America, asking whether they would sleep with Bill Clinton, and here are the results: 3% said yes 6% said no 91% said not again

3 Parachutes 4men

George Bush, a hippy, bill Gates, and a priest are on an airplane. The airplane starts to crash and there’s only 3 parachutes. George Bush said “I’m the president the American people can’t live without me,” so he grabs a parachute and jumps. bill Gates said “I’m the smartest richest person in the world I [...]

True Staments

George W. Bush, Al Gore, And Ralph Nader were eating dinner together when they all had to go to the restroom. Upon entering the restroom the mirror came alive and said, “Each of you is to make a statement about yourselves. If it is true you will get whatever use want and if it is [...]

heaven

al gore, monet, and einstein went to heaven. but since there are so many people trying to sneak into heaven, St. Peter has to guard the gates of heaven. he sees einstein and asks him “how can you prove that you are who you say you are?” einstein takes a piece of chalk and writes [...]

Our Scary Gov’t

WOW !!! THIS IS SCARY !!! Can you imagine working for an organization that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics: *29 have been accused of spousal abuse *7 have been arrested for fraud *19 have been accused of writing bad checks *117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least [...]

Clinton’s Clock

A guy dies and goes to heaven. It’s a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter says, “I’m not very busy today, why don’t you let me show you around?” The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St.Peter shows him all the sights, [...]

What Bush’s Speech Shoulda Been

Good evening my fellow Americans. First, I want to pass on my condolences to the people of New York and all Americans that are hurting in this tragic time. You can rest assured that anything and everything that can be done to assure the safety of our country will be done. This is the greatest [...]

Janet Reno Slogans For Florida Governor

Watch me lick Bush! Not Bush, but Butch! I sure wish I was up against a woman! The Candidate you can Anti-Trust! You must be Waco if you don’t vote for me! Sometimes the best man for the job is a…. whatever! Because every Floridian deserves a fair shake! Protecting You From Illegal Elians!

Bill Bill Bill

Why does Monica Lewinsky have such puffy cheeks? She’s withholding evidence. What does Bill tell Hillary after sex? Nothing, she hears about it on the evening news! Did you know Monica has a hearing problem? All Bill really said was, “hold my calls and sack the cook.” What’s Monica going to title her memoirs? “How [...]

Peace in the Middle East

George Bush was jogging along the beach when he came upon a Genie’s lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it around, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared! George was amazed and startled, and asked the genie if he got three wishes? “No,” said the genie “I’m afraid that due to constant down sizing, world stock [...]