Archive for the ‘other’ Category

A man appears before the pearly gates…

A man appears before the Pearly Gates “Have you ever done anything of particular merit?””

O.J.’s kids:)

There was a mother duck,a mother skunk,a baby duck,and a baby skunk.They all came up on a busy highway.The mothers decided it would be best if they went first.As they were crossing an 18 wheeler came through and made them road-kill.Then the baby duck started crying,so the baby skunk said,”Whats wrong?””The duck answered saying “”My [...]

What Am I?

Out in the country walked a family of ducks together. A mother, father and baby. As they attempted to cross the road, a car came speeding down he lane hitting and killing the mother and father duck, leaving the baby duck all by itself. Sadly, the baby duck began to wander around. About a half [...]

What’s under that kilt?

What a Scotsman Wears Under His Kilt A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a local pub. He felt quite sleepy and decided to nap against a tree. As he slept, two female tourists heard his loud snoring. When they found him, one said, [...]

A.t.p.

there was a guy who had to use the bathroom really bad and the men’s line was too long so he asks the lady if he can use the womens and she said “yes just dont touch any buttons”” he said “”ok i wont”” so he goes in and sits down

President Bush and Superman

President Bush go’s to Superman and says “Hey Superman

Gassy Granny

There once was an old lady she went to the doctor and told the doctor, ” I have a farting problem

What happened to Bill

Joe and Bill are working in a sawmill when Bill accidentally saws his arm off. Joe takes the arm, puts it in a plastic bag, and takes Joe to hospital. The next day, Joe finds Bill in rehab playing tennis. Wow, the wonders of modern science,”Joe says. They go back to the sawmill and are [...]

The Test

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate [...]

Uncle Ted’s Special Skill

Uncle Ted’s Special Skill Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn’t find his ball once he’d hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted. Joe said, “But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!”” His wife replied

Speed Trap

Speed Trap A state trooper spied a car puttering along at 22 MPH. So he turned on his lights and pulled the driver over. Approaching the car, he noticed that five old guys were inside, and they looked wide-eyed and terribly pale. The driver pleaded with him, “Officer

The priest and his horse

Once their was a priest. This priest bought a horse and decided to train it himself. He trained the horse to go when he said “thank the lord”” and to stop when he said “”amen.”” One day

Two young and rather attractive nuns were…

Two young and rather attractive nuns were being assigned to a church in a rather seedy neighborhood. The Mother Superior, who was rather concerned for their wellbeing, asked them what they would do is someone apprpoached them and tried to rape them. “Well

FLOODlight failure

Julie, the husband of Fredrik, had diarrhoea. So, every now and then, she went to the loo. But the only thing she’d done is missed the toilet and it all ran across the bathroom floor! She said “HELP! IT’S ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR!!!”” The only thing that she couldn’t see was the whole room. It [...]

The horse and his owner

There was a guy who wanted to teach his horse how to listen to him. So he took him to a horse breeder and paid 75$ for him to teach him how to do some stuff. The guy who he paid was a priest and he said priestwords to the horse. So one week after [...]

Dutch Babies

One day a little girl walked up to her mother and and said ” Mommy do babies come out where guys stick their dicks?”” And the mother replied “”Well

2 prawns

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea – one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, “I’m bored and frustrated at being a prawn

The Two Priests

One day there are two priests playing golf, the first one of them is putting fo the hole but misses by an inch. He Says “Damn missed the bugger!”” The other says “”don’t speak that language

Questions that have Confused humankind!!

Questions that have Confused humankind!! a.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here

Irritations in life

1. When people point at their wrist when asking for the time. I know where my fucking watch is, where yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the fucking bathroom is? No! 2. When you go to a movie and someone says”Did you see that””? No I paid five dollars to [...]

Celebrity Driver

The Pope had just finished a tour of the Florida East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur didn’t have much of a choice, so he got in the back of the limo and [...]

3 toilets

There are three men going to buy toilets, one buys a steal toilet, and comes back after a week saying its too cold. the second one buys a cotton toilet, comes back after two weeks saying its too soft! the third one buys a musical toilet, cames back after a month saying ” EVERY TIME [...]

Don’t want anymore children!

A youngish man goes to the doctor and tells him his situation. “I have ten kids and I don’t want any more

Genie in the bottle

One day three men named Jimmy, Mike, and Sam found a genie in a bottle and the genie will grant everyone 1 wish if they yell what they want as you jump off a cliff. The first man, Jimmy, yells “I want a billion dollars!””. He jumps off the cliff and lands in a billion [...]

Bear hunting

one day a man went bear hunting. he saw a bear and had his gun locked on it. he shot, and looked up but nothing was there. he went over to where it was and felt a tap on his shoulder. the man turns to see the bear. the bear then says, ” you know [...]