Archive for the ‘gross’ Category

What’s gross?…

What’s gross? Giving someone a titty twister. What’s grosser than that? Keeping a nipple.

What’s more fun than nailing a baby to a tree?…

What’s more fun than nailing a baby to a tree? Ripping it off.

Did you hear about the leper card game?…

Did you hear about the leper card game? One threw his hand in, one laughed his head off and one cried his eyes out.

Why don’t old men eat their wives out?…

Why don’t old men eat their wives out? Have you ever pulled grilled cheese apart?

Suffocation: Farting in a spacesuit….

Suffocation: Farting in a spacesuit.

What is the difference between a pie and a…

What is the difference between a pie and a woman? The crust on a pie is good!

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only…

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand? – She moans with the other.

There was an old whore from Kahlua…

There was an old whore from Kahlua Who’d poxed all the cocks ‘d been through her The smell from her twat Killed of a large rat That had lived thirty years in a sewer

How do you recycle a used tampon?…

How do you recycle a used tampon? As a tea bag for vampires

What does 80 year old pussy taste like?…

What does 80 year old pussy taste like? – Depends.

A guy says to his gal while french kissing:…

A guy says to his gal while french kissing: “Honey, I think I just swallowed your gum.” “No, I was clearing my throat”

Whats black and taps on glass?…

Whats black and taps on glass? A baby in a microwave.

There was a girl who needed to borrow her…

There was a girl who needed to borrow her dad’s car. So she went to her dad and she asked, “Dad, I need to borrow your car.” So her dad thinks about it and he says, “Well you have to suck my dick first.” So the girl agrees and starts to suck his dick. “Dad”, [...]

Hiroshima was a boom town….

Hiroshima was a boom town.

There was an old whore of the Azores…

There was an old whore of the Azores Whose cunt was all covered in sores The dogs in the street Used to lick the green meat That hung in festoons from her drawers

It’s World War II and everyone is dug in to…

It’s World War II and everyone is dug in to a foxhole. The private goes up to his Sargeant and tells him he has to take a shit really bad. The Sarge tells him that they will be here for a long time and not to do it because of the smell. The private asks [...]

Kid: Mom! Everyone at school says I look like…

Kid: Mom! Everyone at school says I look like a werewolf! Mom: Shut up and comb your face!

It’s April first and a guy is sitting in the…

It’s April first and a guy is sitting in the hospital waiting for his wife to have their child. The nurse comes out and tells the man there have been some complications and it will take longer than expected. Five hours later the nurse comes out holding his baby. He gets up and exclaims “Can [...]

Necrophilia means never having to say you’re…

Necrophilia means never having to say you’re sorry.

La Machine….

La Machine. …vegetables…vvrrrrr… La Machine. …fruits…vvrrrrr… La Machine. …little children…No mommy, No!…vvrrrrr… La Machine.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson…

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag and what do they have in common? They are both made of plastic and one was meant for children to play with!

How do you know you’re at a gay BBQ?…

How do you know you’re at a gay BBQ? The hotdogs taste like shit!

A couple was honeymooning in Daytona Beach….

A couple was honeymooning in Daytona Beach. The manager of the motel noticed the new groom fishing all day and night on the first day of their stay. The second day came and the new groom was again fishing all day and night. This ritual was repeated on the third and fourth day and night. [...]

They say you can pick your nose, and you can…

They say you can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose. Why not?

What’s the best part of anal sex with a 12…

What’s the best part of anal sex with a 12 year old girl? Pretending it’s a 10 year old boy.