Archive for the ‘gays & lesbians’ Category

The SEX anImAlS

WHy did the Chicken cross the riad??? Because he felt like it..

Nun Named Bob

There was a nun that needed a ride so she waved down a taxi. The driver pulled up and took the nun where she needed to go. During the ride the man said to the nun, “You’re pretty hot, for a nun!” The nun thanked the man by asking him if he’d like to have [...]

hotel

Why are gay’s the first ones out of the hotel in the morning? because they get their shit packed the ngiht before.

gays

There were these three gay guys going at it one night, and they run out of vasaline. So the first guy says “hey dont do anything until i get back from the store” so the other two said “alright we’ll wait” So upon returning from the store the man notices that there is vasaline all [...]

Lesbian in a Bar

A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to a girl and starts flirting with her. She turns around and says, “You know, I’m a lesbian.” He just nods and keeps flirting. So she turns around again and says to him, “Do you know what a lesbian is?” He replies no. She says, [...]

Deductive Reasoning

Neighbor 1: “Hi, there, new neighbor, it sure is a nice day to be moving” New Neighbor: “Yes, it is and people around here seem extremely friendly” Neighbor 1: “So what is it you do for a living?” New Neighbor: “I am a professor at the University, I teach deductive reasoning” Neighbor 1: “Deductive reasoning, [...]

First Date

my friends first date true story he told me 6:00 pm arrives at girls house is told she is getting ready father stares menacingly from across the den 6:10 pm father blinks girl comes down half naked to find bra father covers boys eyes 6:30 pm girl is finally ready get in car wont start [...]

Loading Dock:

Why did the gay man get a job at the loading dock? He loved taking deliveries in the rear.

gay bar

This guy had a hard day at work and decided to get a drink on the way home. He stopped in to this bar and didn’t realize it was a gay bar. He took a seat in this both and a waiter came up to him and asked what the name of his penis was. [...]

You Know You’re in San Francisco When…

You know you’re in San Francisco when….. Your co-worker tells you they have 8 body piercings but none are visible. When someone says TENDERLOIN- you don’t think of steak. You think of danger. You make over $100,000 and still can’t afford a house. You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on [...]

Little Man

A guy walked into a bathroom and started pissing He looked over and saw a really little man taking a piss. The guy looked over at him and said, “Hello.” The little man said, “Hi, I’m a leprechaun!” The guy was amazed. The leprechaun said “I like you. I am going to grant you 3 [...]

Wood You Tell?

Jack and Dan work together and are good friends while at work. Outside of work they live different lives. One day, Jack and Dan are in the breakroom relaxing and drinking coffee when Jack asks Dan the following: JACK: Hey Dan can I ask you a personal question? DAN: It depends, how personal? JACK: Not [...]

The Lesbian at the Bar

A guy walks into a bar and he sees a realy hot girl sitting on the other end. So he tells the bartender to buy her a drink. The bartender says “I don’t know if you want to do that because she is a lesbian.” The guy says, “I don’t care. Buy her one anyway.” [...]

The Merry Men

There were 3 gay guys in a plane and they were on there way to gay day at disney when suddenly to there astonishment the plane engine exploded. the captain came out and took the only parachute and jumped out of the plane.So being stupid as they were they decided to jump they all jumped [...]

good! better! even better! bad

there once was a woman named diane gave a blow job to a man other than her husband.she was band from her town. so everyone would know what she had done they wrote bj all over her cloths and skin. when she reached the next town she asked if she could live there. the mayer [...]

Players Trip To Playtown

There is a player named Shaun. He goes from country to country to find the best sex. He seeks his adventure in Germany and goes to a German town named Playtown. Supposedly, he heard that the best sex goes in this town, so he’s eager to go. Since prostitution is legal in Germany, he goes [...]

the guy in the bar

A guy is on a road trip and he needs a drink so he stops at a bar. As soon a he takes a step in to the bar he notes its gay bar but he does not care he really needs a drink he gos up to the bartender and say iam so thirsty [...]

2 gay guys in the shower

Two gay guys are having sex in the shower. Then the doorbell rings. One of them goes to answer, and while he’s dressing he says, “Don’t jackoff while I’m gone.” When he comes back, there’s sperm all over the walls. He says ” I thought I told you not to jackoff!” The other says, “I [...]

Three Wishes Each for a Bear and a Rabbit

One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop. [...]

Celebratetion

one day 20 men were in a pub celebrating “heres too 2 years”they were saying,the waiter thougt it must of been somethink important so she went over and gave them all a free drink after she asked them what they were celebrating and one said”we have just finished a puzzle and on the box it [...]

In a Bag

There were two gay guys on a bed. The first guy gets up and starts dressing. The other guy says, “what are you doing?” “I’m getting ready for work.” The guy on the bed takes a bag and starts wacking off. The dressing guy says, “What are you doing?” “I’m making your lunch.”

Gay Cowboy

A gay guy is sitting in the corner of an old west saloon, suddenly, a rugged looking cowboy burts in and yells “I’m so thirsty, i could lick the sweat off a cows balls!” and the gay guy goes “Moo Moo, big guy”

a gay fart

Two gay men stayed up all night having sex. The next morning one of them got up and said”I gotta piss.” Then the other guy said,”please don’t wack it man. I just cleaned my bathroom yesterday.” “Alright. I won’t, you silly goose.” So after the gay guy finished the other guy walked in and saw [...]

20 Lesbians in a Closet?

What do you call twenty lesbians in a closet? Lickerish.

Sleeping Bag

Q: What do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? A: A fruit-rollup.