Archive for the ‘fictional characters’ Category

Superman and Wonderwoman

Superman and one of his superhero friends are flying around Metropolis one day, looking for trouble like they usually do. Seeing no crime, Superman makes the suggestion that the two fly down to the beach to see what is going on. His friend, being bored, happily agrees. As the two fly along the beach, they [...]

The Prince and The Rose

Once upon a time there lived a prince and a princess that showed their love for each other all the time. There was also this wizard that hated seeing people in love, especially the prince and princess. One day he decided to put an end to it. The wizard turned the princess into a rose [...]

Short-Lived Superheroes

Here is a short list of short-lived comic superheroes,villians and characters: Captain Sponataneous Combustion Suicidal Man Dr.Venerial Disease The Amazing Decaying Man Mr. Obese Mama’s Boy The Sarcastic Hostage Gasoline Man and His Sidekick The Amazing Flaming Boy PMS Girl and her Sidekick, Insensitive Man The Glow in the Dark Stalker

Purple Passion

One day a teacher had each student tell the rest of the class what their favorite color was. The last child she asked was a boy named Danny. “What’s your favorite color Danny?” “Purple passion,” he replied. the teacher yelled, “Go to the principals office right now young man.” The principal asked him, “What did [...]

Painter’s Doctor

And there was beeing a exposition for a famos painter in town. The pictures were amazing, perfectly painted. But people wouldn’t buy it. The price was to high. Almost on the end of the exposition. A men came in, and talked to the assitent. “Excuse me, is it true that after the artist dies, the [...]

Englishman Irishman and Scottishman

There was a Englishman a Irishman and a Scottishman and they were about to jump in a swimming pool, and suddenly a gienie approachs them and says “what ever u say when u jump in the swimming pool u will land in ” so the Scottish man says “beer” so he lands in beer! the [...]

Tarzan and Jane

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. [...]

7 Dwarfs

The 7 dwarfs were walking through rome and met the pope. Dopey went up to the pope and asked,”are there any dwarf nuns in rome?” the pope replied,”hmm….no there are no dwarf nuns in rome.” the other 6 dwarfs started giggling, and dopey turned to scilence them. Then he asked,”are there and dwarf nuns in [...]

Poo, Manours and Get Lost

Once upon a time there were three kids. One called Poo, one called Manours and another called Get Lost. Poo fell over and hurt himself badly, Manours said too Get Lost “go and find some help”. Get Lost found a police man. The police man asked his name, in reply he said “Get Lost”, so [...]

Ho! Ho! Ho!

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers until after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every [...]

Five Reasons Santa Must Be A Woman

Five Reasons Why Santa must be a Woman… 1. First of all, Santa “remembers” it’s Christmas. 2. A man simply would not care if you were naughty or nice. 3. Only a woman would come up with a silly red pantsuit and matching belt to boot! 4. No guy would ever name his animals Rudouph, [...]

Bart Simpson’s Chalkboard Archive

I will not carve gods. I will not spank others. I will not aim for the head. I will not barf unless I’m sick I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. I saw nothing unusual in the teacher’s lounge. I will not conduct my own fire drills. Funny noises are not funny. I [...]

Dog Joke

There was a Scottish man and Irish man and a Chinese man the scottish man, the irish man and the chinese man all decided to take there dogs for a walk, so off they went, the scots man took his dog to the corner of the street and it had a wee, on the next [...]

Queens legs

There were once three men named Bob,Jimbo and Tim. One day Bob needed a beer so he suggested going to ‘The Old Hag’ pub nearby. “OK” said the others and they walked for five minutes to get there. When they did it was shut!All they saw was one man behind the bar. “Oh no!” said [...]

skateboard

There were three guys waiting to get into heaven, they were at the pearly gates and Saint Peter told them that to get into heaven, they had to answer one question, which was, ” Have you been faithful to your wife?”. The first man told him, that yes, he had been faithful and had never [...]

Mickey and Minnie

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, “You say here that your wife is crazy.” Mickey replied, “No I didn’t, I said she was fucking Goofy.”

10 Signs Santa Doesn’t Like Your Kid

1. Kid’s letter to North Pole comes back stamped, “Dream on!” 2. Kid asks for new bike, but gets a packet of cigarettes. 3. Along with presents, Santa leaves a hefty bill for shipping and handling. 4. By the time he gets to your house, all he has are styrofoam peanuts. 5. Christmas Day, your [...]

Chocolate Melts In Your Mouth

Two men a white man and a hispanic man were driving down the freeway when a black mans car swerved out of its lane and hit the other car head on. All three men died on contact, and went to hell. When they got there Satan told them that he would grab their penis, and [...]

Happy Dwarf’s Reaction

One day the seven dwarfs decided to go swimming and they were all feeling happy, so Happy hopped out.

Lost and Found

An old man in heaven comes up to Jesus Christ. “Hello, young man,” he says, “would you help me look for my son?” Jesus Christ smiles apologetically and says “You know, sir, Heaven is very big, and it is awfully hard to find someone here.” The old man says “No, I’m sure you know my [...]

Interesting Facts

1. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.” 2. “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt” 3. Almonds are members of the peach family. 4. The symbol on the “pound” key (#) is called an octothorpe. 5. The dot over the letter ‘i’ is called a tittle. [...]

Never trust a drunk american

In New York an Englishman an Irishman and an American had been drinking, the American led the other two to the Empire State Building, at the top the American said to the Irishman “I bet you $100 dollars that I can jump of this building and fly around in circles.” The Irishman says “Your on.” [...]

3 men…3 wishes

There were 3 men just chillen out on a bridge. Suddenly a geenie apeared out of nowhere. The geenie said “I will grant you each one wish.” So the first guy says, “i wanna be a bird and fly.” the genie says, then run off the bridge and flap your arms then you will turn [...]

Seven Dwarfs

The seven dwarfs got on the bus.They talked for a while, and got bored. About 20 minutes into the journey, they started feeling sleepy. So he got off.

Drunk at Party

There’s a big gala ball on the roof of a fancy hotel. Everyone is having a great time, except for one guy who’s really drunk, and is bothering everyone. The guy is busy peeing on a woman’s leg when a man approaches him and says, “Come over her, I’ve got something to show you.” He [...]