Archive for the ‘definitions’ Category

Frobnicate

To manipulate or adjust, to tweak. Derived from FROBNITZ. Usually abbreviated to FROB. Thus one has the saying “to frob a frob”. See TWEAK and TWIDDLE. Usage: FROB, TWIDDLE, and TWEAK sometimes connote points along a continuum. FROB connotes aimless manipulation; TWIDDLE connotes gross manipulation, often a coarse search for a proper setting; TWEAK connotes [...]

ADULT: A

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOUR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

These translations

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say…”WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”Translated:* “What did you catch me at?””I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.”Translated:* “No one will ever see us alive again.””WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.”Translated:* “I make [...]

Hemorrhage…

Hemorrhage An amount of blood loss which threatens the viability of the patient, and the composure of the attending physician.

Absurdity

A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.

Arbitrator ar’-bi-tray-ter:

Arbitrator ar’-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.Avoidable uh-voy’-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.Baloney buh-lo’-nee: Where some hemlines fall.

Dictionary of

Dictionary of Evaluation Comments Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out. HARD WORKER: Usually does it the hard way. ENJOYS JOB: Needs more to do. HAPPY: Paid too much.

Log On:

Log On: Makin’ the wood stove hotter.Log Off: Don’t add no wood.Monitor: Keepin’ an eye on the wood stove.

Someone

Someone you hire to clean out the icebox.

These translations

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say…”THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.”Translated:* “Are you still talking?””YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.”Translated:* “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop,’ the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle [...]

The wife

The wife says: Hang the picture thereThe wife means: No, I mean hang it there!The wife says: I heard a noiseThe wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.The wife says: Do you love me?The wife means: I’m going to ask for something expensive. Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com

Not a

Not a desk person: Did not go to college.Of great value to the organization: Turns in work on time.Use all available resources: Takes office supplies home for personal use.

Megahertz…

Megahertz What you feel when a computer drops on your foot.

Love

Two vowels, two consonants, two fools.

Slowpoke

How turtles make love.

A

A man who has no children to speak of.

Traffic Light

Apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.

ISDN

It Still Does Nothing

Alert to

Alert to company developments: An office gossip.Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.Average: Not too bright.

Effective

Effective sunspot remover.

CD-ROM

Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

Valentine’s Day

A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Immigration…

Immigration The sincerest form of flattery.

IBM

I Blame Microsoft

Incest

The game the whole family can play.