Archive for the ‘christians’ Category

In the Garden of Eden…

One day in the garden of Eden, Adam said, “God, I am lonely.” So God said, “Adam, I will create for you a woman.” “What’s a woman?” asked Adam. “She is a beautiful creature with whom you can love and have a family,” God replied. He sent down Eve and told Adam and her to [...]

Father Cuthbert

Father Cuthbert was the vicar at St Martha’s church, so the congregation was sad to hear that he would be going on holiday for a month. On the other, they were happy that he left his right-hand-man, Father Ted in charge. Father Cuthbert gave him his instructions, then set off on holiday. Father Ted did [...]

The preist and Golfer

A preist and a golfer are both members of the City Golf club. One Saturday they go there to play against each other. They get to the 8th hole of a 10 hole pitch and the preist is winning. So the golfer needs to get the next 1 under par. The golfer hits the ball [...]

Liars!

The priest said, “Today’s sermon is called ‘Liars’. I will get to that in a moment, but first I have a question. How many of you have read Chapter 66 in Matthew?” Nearly every hand went up. “You’re just the group I need to speak to,” the priest said. “There’s no such chapter.”

Giant

There once was a giant who lived at the top of a big mountain. His favorate thing to do was to kick trids (short people) from the village down the mountain. After a while, the mayor of the village went to talk to him. “Excuse me Mr. Giant. Us trids in the village feel that [...]

Jewish Fathers, Christian sons.

A Jewish father was concerned about his son who was about a year away from his Bar Mitzvah but was sorely lacking in his knowledge of the Jewish faith. To remedy this he sent his son to Israel to experience his heritage. A year later the young man returned home. “Father, thank you for sending [...]

New Minister

There was a young man who had just complete his schooling to become a minister. He had went back to his home town and went to his pastor and ask if he could deliver the message that Sunday. The minister agreed. Sunday morning the young man went to his pastor and said he was too [...]

For the love of…

Three ministers – a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist – and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter. First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. “I can’t let [...]

little timmy

Little timmy always sat in the front pew of the church and gave a hand full of change when the collection basket passed.One sunday the pastor noticed that timmy started to put his change in the collection basket but decided to put his money in his pocket. After service little timmy,little timmy rushed up to [...]

Run Through the Rain

She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful, brown haired, freckled-faced image of innocence. Her mom looked like someone from the Walton’s or a moment captured by Norman Rockwell. Not that she was old-fashioned. Her brown hair was ear length with enough curl to appear natural. She had on a pair of tan shorts [...]

Jesus And God

Jesus and god were playing golf. They come to a long par 5 with trees and sand traps everywhere. Jesus hits a beautiful shot straight down the fairway and it lands perfect. God steps up and hits one off a tree and into a pond. All of a sudden a fish gets the ball in [...]

What to Do with the Gold Coins

A Muslim sheikh, a Christian priest and a Jewish rabbi find a room filled with gold coins. They sit down to discuss what they’d do with it. The sheikh: I think we throw it up in the air and have the poor take what they can of it. That way it’s like giving it to [...]

noel

Why is noel named noel if there is an L in noel?

Skipping Church to Go Golfing

There once was a vicar who loved to golf. One Sunday he decided to skip church and play golf. So he phoned the church and said he was ill. He then went to the golf club far away from town, and started to play. There was an angel above watching him. The angel said to [...]

Holy Christmas

Q. What’s the diffrence between preachers and Christmas trees? A. They both have balls but just for decoration.

Preacher Goes Hunting

A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some bear hunting. As he rounded the corner on a perilous twist in the trail, he and a bear collided, sending him and his rifle tumbling down the mountainside. Before he knew it, his rifle went one way and [...]