Archive for the ‘bush’ Category

George W Bush Discount

Looking for savings this holiday season? When you’re out shopping, take advantage of the George W. Bush discount. You will need unmitigated gall and several accomplices. Here’s how it works. Load up with all sorts of items that you want and take them to the checkout. When the clerk gets to an item that will [...]

Tax loophole

How many Bush supporters does it take to change a light bulb? Six, one to turn the bulb and five to create a related tax loophole for the rich.

Bush on tour

On a tour US President George Bush visits a school and explains his political actions. Afterwards he invites the children to ask him questions. Little Bob rises to speak. Mr. President, I have got three questions to ask: 1. How did you win the election although you had less votes than Gore? 2. Why do [...]

George W. Bush was driving Vladimir

George W. Bush was driving Vladimir Putting around in a pickup truck on his Texas ranch, when Putting suddenly said: “look, a dead bird!” George stuck his head out the window, looked up into the sky, and asked: “where?”

Bush believes homosapien unions are a sin.

Q: Why are all marriages now illegal in the US? A: Bush believes homosapien unions are a sin.

Bush and Clinton and Bush

Bush and Gore, together again Bush and Gore went fishing. Gore went on one side of the lake and Bush on the other. Later that day, Bush came back with 129 fish and Gore came back with none. Gore screamed for a revote. The next day bush came back with 173 fish and Gore once [...]

Total control

A guy named Bob is traveling by Amtrak with two strangers sitting close to him. He is trying to sleep, but those guys were speaking loudly for a very long time heavily criticizing George Bush, the war in Iraq, corruption, unemployment, etc. So Bob, in an attempt to force the guys to stop talking and [...]

Quite frankly

“Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teaches our children.” – Governor George W. Bush

Top 10 Bush Campaign Slogans

Editor’s note: Actually a list from the 2000 election, but what the hey… 1. I’ll turn capital punishment into a new game show! 2. I promise to get cocaine off our streets: 1 kilo at a time. 3. I’ll finish what Bill started — the interns. 4. Like father, like son. You liked my dad, [...]

How does Laura know?

How does Laura bush know when her daughters are having their periods? When George�s cock tastes funny.

Bush And Affirmative Action

“Some would argue that the president himself benefited from a form of affirmative action because as a C student, he only got into Yale because his father was a wealthy alumnus. But the White House counters that Saddam is a menace and must be stopped.” �Jon Stewart

George Bush slogans

Top George Bush Slogans I’ll turn capital punishment into a new game show! I promise to get cocaine off our streets: 1 kilo at a time. I’ll finish what Bill started — the interns. Like father, like son. You liked my dad, right? Vote for the GOP, Not OPP. I promise no sex scandal: just [...]

George Bush and his accomplice Dick Cheney

George Bush and his accomplice dick cheney were riding on an elephant. a group of bystanders were watching intently. all of a sudden someone in the crud shouted, “hey look that elephant has two a******* on it!” bush and cheney looked down at the elephant�s ass, confused.

I was proud

“I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will.” �George W. Bush, speaking about Saddam Hussein, Manchester, N.H.

8 years of economic prosperity.

Q: What’s the major thing that separates Bush sr. from Bush jr.? A: 8 years of economic prosperity.

YOU’VE GOT MAIL.

Bush (Senior) was in his front yard mowing his grass when little W.came out of the house and rushed straight to the mailbox. Little W opened it, looked in, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. As Bush (senior) was getting ready to edge the lawn, looking his son, little W. came [...]

Associated Press

“According to the Associated Press, there’s a rumor that Saddam Hussein is now hiding weapons in schools. When asked why, Saddam said, because a school is the last place President Bush will look.”

We have a firm commitment

“We have a firm commitment to NATO; we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.” …George W. Bush

Because he believes it’s wrong for bush and pussy

Q: Why doesn’t the President have a cat? A: Because he believes it’s wrong for bush and pussy to mix.

George W. Bush

Is a stupid, bad-mouthed, extremely rich Republican�? LEADING TO A SEQUENCE WHERE PEOPLE TELL WHAT STUPID THINGS THEY�D DONE Now folks, there�s been a lot of talk about how Republican Candidate George Bush called a reporter a “major brass pole”. I guess you all have heard abut that or something that sounds like it. Anyway, [...]

How Dubya copes with Terrorism

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Chancellor Schr�der

“We’re working with Chancellor Schr�der on what’s called 10-plus-10-over-10: $10 billion from the U.S., $10 billion from other members of the G7 over a 10-year period, to help Russia securities the dismantling � the dismantled nuclear warheads.” �George W. Bush, Berlin, Germany, May 23, 2002

George W. Bush and Canadian Prime Minister Jean Ch

“Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican.” �George W. Bush, declining to take reporters’ questions during a photo op with Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, April 21, 2001

Republican

“I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican” …George W. Bush

To remind him of his mother.

Q: Why does George W. Bush have a dog? A: To remind him of his mother.