Archive for the ‘australian’ Category

The Lord Will Provide

One day in a small town during really stormy weather, the town begins to flood. Everyone rushes to lifeboats and begins to flee. But in a church a prriest sits on the alter and does not move. A man runs up to him. Man- “Father, come quickly, we have a lifeboat ready for you”. Priest- [...]

Australians

Australians NEVER die… they just stay down under!

Questions About Sydney Olympics

(I REALLY WONDER HOW THE PEOPLE IN TOURISM REMAINS SANE??????) Here are some of the classic questions being asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and some answers that may be appropriate. * Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) (Face North and you should be about right) * Is it safe [...]

The Greatest Country

There were four men, one from China, Greenland, America and one from Australia. One night they were bragging on how good their country are. The Chinese said, “my country is the best cause we have the great wall.” The Greenlander said, “no, mine is the best as we have the greenest greenest grass.” The American [...]

Going to Belfast

An Australian was in Ireland. On his way to Belfast, he stopped at a bar and asked one of the locals, “What’s the quickest way to Belfast?” The Irishmen asked, “Are you walking or driving?” The Australian replied, “I’m driving!” The Irishman said, “Aye, that’d be the quickest way!”

Duckhunter

One day, Bill the duck hunter was out on the border of New South Wales and Victoria shooting ducks. He was having a really good day, he’d already bagged 6 or 7 ducks and a park ranger came up to him. “Did you realise that its not duck season in Victoria anymore mate.” said the [...]