Archive for June, 2009

Yo mama poor

yo mama so poor I sat on a penny and she told me get of my paycheck

Be Bolder

A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on the beach. The marriage counselor told him, “If you wish to save your marriage, you’d better be a little boulder.”

Rooster and Chicken

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road? A: He was stapled to the chicken!

Tongue

What do you call a lesbian with a long tongue? -Well Hung

Different Answer

“Excuse me, could you tell me the time?” asked the blonde of a man on the street corner. “Sure….it’s three fifteen,”he replied with a smile. “Thanks,” she said, a puzzled look crossing her face.”You know, it’s the weirdest thing-I’ve been asking that question all day long, and each time I get a different answer.”

yo mamma so fat

yo mamma so fat her stretch marks spell her name

Physic Parrot

Three women walk in a pet shop. Suddenly the parrot yells out, “Yellow, pink, blue.” The first lady says, “That’s funny, I�m wearing yellow underwear.” The second lady says “well I’m wearing pink.” The third lady says “No way, I’m wearing blue.” To test the parrot, the next day, all of them wore white and [...]

Wrinkles

There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.

Medical Miracles

An Israeli doctor says, “Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.” A German doctor says, “That is nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and [...]

Yo mama so fat…

Yo mama so fat when she goes swimming with a black suit on the whales start singing, “WE ARE FAMILY… EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE FATTER THAN ME”

Question and answer Clinton joke

Q: How can you identify a computer that has been in use at the Clinton White House?A: There is White-out on the screen.

My Aunt

Joe says to Bill, “Want to see a picture of my Aunt?” Bill said, “Sure.” So Joe takes out a picture. Bill says, “What are you talking about? Thats not your aunt! Thats a picture of a fish!” Joe says, “Well sure it is… It’s my aunt Chovy!”

Beer and Ice Cream Diet

Beer and Ice Cream DietAs we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the [...]

Pigeon flying in sky

But baby pigeon said, “I can’t make it; I’ll get too tired.” His mother said, “Don’t worry; I’ll tie a piece of string to one of your legs and the other end to mine.” The baby started to cry.”What’s wrong?” said the mother.”I don’t want to be pigeon towed!”

Guy Difference

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a guy? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.

Knock KnockWho’s there?Halifax!Halifax who?Halifax you

Knock KnockWho’s there?Halifax!Halifax who?Halifax you if you fax me!

Going Bananas

Start with a cage containing five apes.In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water.After a while, another ape [...]

The boy

there was a boy he went to the shop and asked his mum for an action man his mum said “no you can have anything you want when you get home” so they went home the boy rushed upstairs to go the toilet his dad was in the bath he said to his dad “dad [...]

Toilet Paper

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!

what do you say if an ethiopian youth asks…

what do you say if an ethiopian youth asks you for a pound? NO YOU STUPID WOG

Replacing Joe

Joe, the Governor’s most trusted assistant, died in his sleep one night. The Governor had depended on Joe for advice on every subject, from pending bills to wardrobe decisions. In addition, Joe had been his closest friend.So, it was understandable that the Governor didn’t take kindly to the droves of ambitious office seekers who wanted [...]

Blonde at the gyno

A middle-aged blonde goes to the doctor and says “Doc I have this really bad itch can you tell me whats wrong?” He examines her and says, “You have crabs.” She says, “Thats impossible! I have never had sex before,” and storms out of the doctor’s office. She goes to another doctor and he says [...]

Yo Mama

yo mama is so fat that i cant see around her

Door Knocker

Why did the artist put a door knocker on his front door?? He wanted 2 win the No-Bell prise!!

Those who

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe. He’s not dead, he’s electroencephalographically challenged. She’s always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower. You have the right to remain silent….Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. I wonder [...]